OOTD ; Denim, Zara and Rambling

I got a small reminder this evening about dreaming big and looking back I can't seem to pinpoint when I stopped.

Reality definitely gets in the way, and money and y'know all those things I said would never matter and yet somehow you need them to live and to pay off debts and things don't seem to come easy and everyone tells you to look at how much you've achieved but all I can focus on is that I didnt think this was how it would turn out and I KNOW im only 24 and I KNOW I have achieved a lot and things take time and then I BREATHE.

Its like this,since I finished Uni I'll be honest life for me has felt hard, at times depressing and my days at some points are filled with sitting in my own head and not being able to see a way out. Its hard to be a 'creator' when you feel like that and its hard to objectively or passionately plan what you want to do or what you want to achieve, when all I've wanted to do is get through this week and then the next. I've hit a crossroads where I feel I'm choosing where I'm taking my life, I'm not saying its the right path but its different and right now I need difference and happiness and a 9-5 job that lets me be those and then maybe I can start to remember what I wanted and also what I want now.

Although I never want reality to get in the way and believe me more than anyone (and if you know me you'll know this) I hate saying this but in our generation EVERYONE wants to be someone, and how amazing is that? We all have the opportunity for greatness. BUT on the flip side, we have so many people competing, the competition can feel so hard and when your getting nowhere it can feel so much easier to give up a little.

There is no point to this blog post but the inner ramblings of an overthinker and a wannabe overachiever who is 24 (nearly 25), with a horrible cold in July (like what), watching gilmore girls and resolving to remember why I love wearing pink eyeshadow and metallic skirts. PLUS I LOVE THE ZARA JACKET IM WEARING.

OOTD : Car Shopping, Lazy Oaf and Bright Colours

Skirt: ASOS, Jacket: House Of Holland, Top: Lazy Oaf, Disney Vans, Pom Pom: New Look

This weekend Me and Chase went car shopping to try and find my first car ^.^ Although as I sit and write this we haven't bought one, nor have I test drove any (I'm so scared I make Chase drive them), we have started crossing some off our list and moving others to the top of our list! My only needs are for it to be a bright colour (obviously) and small (again obviously because I can't park)! 

Its exciting looking at cars, when I was learning to drive it felt like I'd never get my license and after ALOT of tears and everyone else patience with me I've finally managed to earn the freedom of a driver. 

Me and my sisters grew up in a tiny village and we spent our whole childhood/teen years struggling to get anywhere, we used to work a part time job at a hotel that was only a 5 minute drive from us but on Sunday's when buses didn't run we used to walk an hour to work and back, across country roads and the local reservoir, dreaming of the day one of us could drive and have a car. I'm now 24 and I can't wait to rely only on myself, when you haven't had the most supportive upbringing and you've struggled for ALOT of things, finally having the chance to rely on yourself for everything thats exciting and my first little car is the most exciting thing for me ^.^ 

I'm so excited when I can drive Chase to surprises for his Birthdays, and I can drive and see my Best Friends for days out and evenings of tea and films, and I can't WAIT to annoy Gemma by constantly driving over to watch Drew Barrymore rom coms.

OOTD ; Dungarees, Rainbows and Unicorns

Lol where we live is so sunday suburbia.
Jacket: Oxfam | Dungarees: Lazy Oaf | Socks: Primark | Vans Mickey Mouse | Bag: HOH
Sunglasses: ASOS | Phone Case: SkinnyDip

I can't quite remember the last time I sat down and began to write on this little platform, but a lot has happened, some good and some not so good; but I feel with the sun beginning to shine and having passed my driving test last week (F I N A L L Y), things are starting to look up and I feel like good things are just around the corner.
This last weekend I got the chance to see some of my favourite people and spent the Saturday and Sunday catching up with old friends and finding a new love in lazerquest with my best friend for her birthday (I forgot how competitive I was until I started shooting small kids with my gun..).
At the moment it feels like I spend my whole week looking forward to two days, when I try and fill the hours with everything and everyone I miss Monday-Friday. Honestly I feel like having spent until I was 24 years old in education, coming out of it and perhaps not being exactly happy with where I am has made me miss the freedom and dreams constantly working towards something gave me. I miss being able to quit the days when you didn't see the point in them and instead you'd sit and watch six series of your favourite show or sit in the sun with your friends. It feels hard, and these past months when quite a lot has felt wrong and gone wrong all I want to do is quit the week and spend my life in the weekends. But I'm going car shopping this weekend and have a fringe appointment tomorrow (this is a live saving appointment, the last hairdresser i went to FEATHERED my fringe, I have wanted to cut it all off all day) and I feel like everything is moving forwards, with me beginning to work towards my own personal deadlines and goals rather than those set by teachers.
I nearly threw out the Lazy Oaf dungarees Im wearing in these photos, the straps on the back are breaking and I'd chucked it in my charity shop pile, when Chases little face sad at me discarding his birthday present from a couple of years back (and I think he was all the more sad for how much it cost, not so much the sentiment..) made me feel bad and put it in back in my wardrobe! I do love it and it felt weird to wear something short again, I used to ALWAYS wear short short things and since i got older (lol I'm only 24.. but seriously) I hate short things. I also found this feather jacket again after losing it in the chaos of moving and its made me want to track down more crazy fur/feather/tassel jackets (the latter of which I have my eye on and in my saved list on ASOS!)

OOTN ; Valentines, Ripped Jeans and House of Holland

Jeans + Golly Gosh Jacket: House of Holland | Shoes : River Island | Tinsel Top: H&M

Honestly, Valentines Day seems a million years ago now- since then we have a little bunny in our home named Buster who is 9 weeks old, a mini lop and a massive handful! Ive just spent the last half an hour trying to get him back into his cage.. we want him to be a house bunny but I think hes got a little too much freedom for such a tiny baby (he is staring at me sulkily as I write this.)

For Valentines Day me and Chase went to a restaurant called The Cosy Club in Leicester. Its interior is very vintage/tea rooms/pinterest and I LOVE it! We've eaten there before but this time it was nice to go for a 3 course meal and spend some time talking. away from all the distractions of every day life and social media. 

We're still testing out different settings with my camera, which to be honest would come out alot better if we researched and came off of the auto buttons, but for these photos when time was precious and indoor lighting and focusing was hard, hopefully they'll do! 

I got these jeans and this jacket (which is actually a dress) from the 'House of Holland' sample sale I went to in June, I love them and have been waiting for a time to style them up and dress them. I always thinks perfect clothes need to have the best first outfit ensemble, and then I can wear them day in day out wherever/however! I wore them with these River Island heels which I bought back when I was on my placement year at uni and have never got around to wearing! On a night out I'm a flats kinda gal and I cant drive and walk EVERYWHERE which rules out every day heels, but once I can drive they'll be on my feet alot more ^.^ (obviously not whilst im driving.. I'm definetely not that good ;))

OOTD ; Friends, Fur and Septum Rings

Scarf : Topshop | Bag: Accessorize | Septum Ring: Depop

I am currently sat at home from work feeling poorly for the third day in the row, rewatching pretty little liars and thought what better time to write about this weekend ^.^

Some of my favourite people came and visited me and my new house this weekend, we ate, we drank, we went to a tragic nightclub (we genuinely had to let ourselves in and were the only ones on the dance floor for about 2 hours.. but as Abby said our dance moves were the best!) and I showed them around where I'm from! It was so nice to have them over and how happily we slot back into each others lives- after living together in our final year (Angie I lived with for two years!) and being best friends for a few years longer, when you leave uni you start to wonder who you'll keep in touch with and how your lives and friendships will intertwine and in a sense survive over the following years.

The plan for Saturday was to shop in Leicester as thats the closest city to me, and I knew where I'm from probably (in the winter weather) had about a days worth of entertainment that we could have on the Sunday! In reality shopping turned into coffee and then pizza and then cocktails as we realised how poor we still are in these months following graduation and how drinks and food and catching up was worth more to us and our money (funny.. considering we're fashion students!). After cocktails at Turtle Bay (Mai Tais are the best!) we got the train back to mine, where we listened to Taylor Swift, Twenty One Pilots, Craig David (I am supporting him for 2016 comeback! ;)), James Bay and many more whilst drinking Sex on the Beach, getting ready, singing, talking and taking photos! I took this chance to wear my new septum ring that i'd ordered and I literally love it, I don't think I can get away with wearing it everyday because after a few hours it gets annoying and does hurt, but for a night or evening out I love it- I'm sure as time goes on I'll wear it all the time to be honest! After a fun night out where I live, where we stumbled across bars, shouted Nigel Thornberry at a poor unsuspecting man and invited ourselves into a derelict club and created our own playlist for the DJ, we went to sleep!

On Sunday Chase played taxi driver and we showed them where Chase is from, where I'm from and we went to Rutland Water, where I can't wait till summer to take them back to so we can go rowing ^.^ I managed to get some photos of my new fur scarf that feels very Fendi inspired, but was heavily reduced in the Topshop sale! And this awesome bag Angie got me for Xmas, which I believe is from Accessorize and is literally me in a box bag (with Tassels ontop!)

It was so nice to see friends again and to relax and have fun, sometimes I feel quite lonely where me and Chase live, as I'm still learning to drive, I commute such a long way that evenings feel only good for sleeping and watching four in a bed (my latest 4od craze) and moving back you realise how many people have moved on. I'm determined though to push myself to make a big effort in 2016 both in my professional and personal life, I want to achieve great things but more importantly I want to make sure I share these moments with the best people I know ^.^

OOTD ; Typical Freaks, Dogs and Flowers

Sweatshirt: Typical Freaks | Headband: Asos | Lipstick: Mac Matte Royale

 I got this sweatshirt from a brand called 'Typical Freaks', from their depop account (ilovedepop) where they basically sell loads of one off 'sample sale' garments, I was lucky enough to get a super soft plush sweatshirt from my sisters from this brand as well for christmas and whilst not cheap, their depop sample sale stuff is a hella lot cheaper than there final collections! Theres a plastic printed raincoat/dress I'd LOVE to own but unfortunately until I fulfil my 2016 dream of being rich and successful I will just have to dream ^.^ I first found out about this brand when I was walking around Hyper Japan with Louise, my very talented trend forecaster friend / boss, she pointed them out to me and said I should try and get work with them! Although I didn't pluck up the courage to ask about an internship, I did rifle through their rack and fall in love with their bold colourful hand printed garments that pretty much sum up my own personal design work. I love finding a brand that have modern concepts. are heavily stylised with print and colour and feel a little outrageous, in 2016 I definitely want to try and find more brands like them ^.^ 

(I'm really starting to regret my shaved head when I look at photos like the above ^^^^ WHYDOESMYFRINGELOOKSOWEIRD)

OOTD ; Feminism and Blue Lipstick

Feminism Top : H&M | Skirt : Asos | Vans : Disney Vans | Beanie : Gemma Ryans ;)

I don't even remember the last time I took some time to write on this little corner of the internet, but I know its been quite awhile. The past few months have been like a whirlwind of emotions, memories and achievements; me and my boyfriend now have a little two bedroom house and I'm an accessories designer, designing bags + purses which is CRAZY.

 I left University in June scared out of my mind, staying at my boyfriends parents and working at our local petrol station, and as much as I dreaded being in that situation it gave me some time to breathe (inbetween searching and applying for jobs everysingleday on indeed!) and I'm only now over this Christmas break just starting to come up for air and starting to plan where I'm going to next both personally and professionally. I still want for more creativity and more freedom within that and I want to start carving out a place for myself within fashion, I want to learn as much as I can as an accessories designer and I want to draw more, I want to illustrate and I want to explore trend further in a freelance/independent capacity. I feel theres so many corners of this creative industry I enjoy and this year I need to start properly trying to accomplish something for myself and I want to find where I fit in ^.^